Well, that's kind of a difficult question. I think back to an interview I had freshman year of college, when I was interviewing to be Hall Council President. When they asked me, "what is your biggest weakness?" I sat there for an awkwardly long time, and eventually I said "I am a perfectionist." Poor little me had known very little about the world, and more importantly myself, so settled for that response. My best friend at the time ridiculed me for answering in such a clique way. To this day, part of me wonders if I hadn't initially gotten the position because of this response. I did later become President of my Hall after the unqualified president resigned to join-- none other than a sorority, but that's a story for another day.
That was nearly 3 years ago now, and I think I better understand how to answer that question in an interview because I better understand who I am. But the idea of being "a perfectionist" has not completely gone away. I feel like it's a rather common question people will somehow bring up in conversation or it might even be joked about on twitter. Just the other day, a friend asked the famous "would you consider yourself a perfectionist?" I apparently had not been asked this in a while and somehow a beautiful answer had been within me for a while. (beautiful on my terms, but hopefully it can mean something to you as well).
I used to consider myself a perfectionist, and I feel like that's clear from how I started this post. I actually thought being a perfectionist would be.... well a good thing? What might not be clear is what exactly being a perfectionist means. According to the normal Websters' dictionary: a person who refused to accept any standard short of perfect. Now that was how I originally thought I was seeing this. It just meant that by identifying myself this way that I was an over achiever, never settling for less and striving for the most. This was a positive thing. I would consider all those statements true about myself, but there is a part of being a perfectionist that is not as often talked about.
According to urban dictionary: someone who finds it hard to be happy with their work unless it is of very high standard. It even goes further to say that being a perfectionist "can be both a blessing and a curse." I believe it is important to try your hardest and put your heart into your activities. In fact, it's probably one of my biggest pet peeves when people don't put at least than 100% into what they do. It's good to try. But being a perfectionist, can be very hurtful. It could mean that even if your work is amazing, even if it is exactly what you wanted, you won't believe it's good enough. This used to be my truth, and I would constantly beat myself up over little things that at the end of the day wouldn't be important. Whether it be in class work, sports, theatre performances, life, I would find myself believing I wasn't good enough in anything. Just because it wasn't "perfect" I write this in past tense, but in all honestly it is something I still can struggle with, but I came to this conclusion that started to help me.
I think there is a difference between being a perfectionist and being detail orientated. Of course there is a clear similarity between the two. It's being careful and intentional. But being detail orientated is about the details, and perfectionism is about the doubt. It's okay to pay attention to the details like in a painting maybe deciding carefully to paint each component different colors and using different brushes. That's rather specific, but it's about the details. It's about how you're creating the piece and the intention behind each action. Perfectionism, to me, is about doubts. It's finishing a project, and doubting your work because it is not perfect. It's questioning everything and never believing it is enough. It focuses more on the end product, instead of all the little accomplishes you might have had throughout the project.
I think the sooner we accept that perfectionism isn't achievable the sooner we can be more proud of ourselves. Perfect is a word people throw around like it's actually something that is achievable. We live in a world surrounded by pressure and endless expectations whether coming from ourselves or external sources. Perfect is not helpful to everyone, and after all with all the different opinions the idea of perfect likely exists differently in everyone's perspectives. The perfect job to one person might be a happy work environment surrounded by people and collaboration and perfect to another person might be working from home and only having to interact over the email. I think being able to better understand the impact of perfectionist, will help us to better accept ourselves and everyone else. Perfect is a made up word to make us feel lesser of ourselves, and it's reign is over.
We should care about our work, we should try our hardest, we should put our heart and soul into everything we do, but we should also be able to admire our successes. Whether we got there on a rocky path, or we were able to achieve something right away. Whether our painting looks just like the Mona Lisa or just like Spongebob. It's ours and we should be proud. Life is too short to reach for perfection when we could be reaching for the stars!
The answer is no. I do not consider myself a perfectionist. Am I still on a journey of accepting myself and my actions even when they "come short of perfect?" Yes. I am still working to rethink the concept of perfection for myself, the people around me, and anyone who is willing to listen.
You don't have to be perfect to be amazing. And I would prefer to be amazing over perfect any day.
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