Tis' the season for college acceptances, or what I knew as college rejections when I graduated high school. I remember being a senior and hoping no one would ask me what school I was going to because while I did get into some universities, I didn't get into the ones I set my heart on -- and more than that, I didn't get accepted into the ones society told me would make me an impressive individual.
I was ASB President, super involved, I played sports, and I was SO excited to go to college, but after every rejection it was just another stab in my chest "you're not good enough." And that's what I became consumed with. I can try my best, do everything I think makes me compelling enough and yet... I am still not good enough? I knew others had high expectations of me and even worse, I had the highest expectations of myself. It hurt me, and I couldn't help but compare myself to my friends and other peers who got into Universities I could only dream of going to.
I could've studied hard for the SAT. Despite my ongoing testing anxiety, maybe more preparation would have given me a better score. I could have done MORE extracurriculars, found some spare time to volunteer after sports practice or rehearsal, or maybe I could have woken up early on my weekends to have a job. I could have done this or that, but at the end of the day I realized -- I could've stopped being disappointed in myself and been excited that I still had opportunity in front of me, no matter where I was going.
For anyone who might have already gone through college, or maybe currently in it who might not think this post is for you. It is. This post is for everyone. I encourage you all to help to rewrite this narrative. Stop celebrating people only if they get into a "top school" and start celebrating everyone who is pursuing an education. Getting into ANY COLLEGE from community to the Ivy Leagues of the world is an amazing accomplishment. Remember that what one person might consider a failure, might be another person's dream. We all come from different backgrounds with different aspirations. Celebrate all successes! The fact of the matter is that this narrative can only been rewritten with the help of everyone.
To the few who did get to go to their dream school: I am proud of all of you and so happy you got to make your dream a reality. I hope it will be and/or was just what you hoped it would be! I do not discount the effort it took to get you here and you should really be proud of what you have achieved.
To everyone else: I am so proud of you all, and maybe even more proud (no offense to others) because you had to/will have to reshape your dream and discover a new journey you didn't plan for yourself, but guess what? It will be YOUR journey and it will be incredible because you will make it incredible.
I remember my senior year of high school, before this fiasco of acceptances/rejections began, my english teacher Mr. Wilson had us read "Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be," obvious relevance, of course. I am into these sort of sappy motivational books, but I wasn't having it at the time. I respected the message and I believed in what they were saying, but I couldn't possibly take the advice for myself. I knew (I thought) where I needed to be and that would determine my future.
It took me about three months or so into my freshman year of college to start to realize this. Slowly, but surely I found myself a home at a school I never planned to attend. San Diego State University, a school that I only applied to because I had already filled out the CSU application and San Diego sounded like a nice city. Then it became the place I was always meant to be.
I now realize how lucky I was to even be picked to be at and accepted by SDSU. Here I was being upset I had to go here, forgetting for others it was their dream they might not have gotten to live out. I had no consideration for the big picture because I was so caught in what I thought I had to be and the reality was I had so much to be thankful for. Sometimes you are so blinded by what you thought you wanted it's hard to appreciate what you have in front of you. We lose perspective sometimes, and I am happy to have regained it and I have so much gratitude now. It has become a place where I found friends that will last a lifetime, opportunities that will leave a lasting impact and professors, supervisors and mentors who continue to challenge me to be my best self.
I want you all to know that your experience is valid and just because not everything goes as planned, doesn't mean it still can't be amazing. Going to community college? Always a brilliant way to save money and be able to further solidify what you want moving forward. Take up a leadership position on campus, get to know your professors. It is still so worthwhile. Going to a back up school? You are still going to college!! How amazing is it that you will get to continue your educational degree. Make the most of your opportunity, get involved in the things you are passionate about, find mentors in your field... do everything you can! Taking a break and going to reapply in the fall? I love your tenacity and persistence. I know things will work out. You have already worked so hard and sometimes taking a break allows you the opportunity to refresh yourself before you take off an a new adventure. Things take time, I believe in you and I am rooting for you, always! Pursing an education is a privilege, and ultimately the result will be determined by what you make out of it.
While having an Ivy League school on a resume might always sound impressive, at the end of the day it is your responsibility to show up and demonstrate who you are. Where you go is not who you'll be, but the opportunities you take advantage of, the connections you strive to make, and the effort you put into your education will determine who you are. Shoutout to Mr. Wilson for helping Santa Clara High Seniors understand a lesson that I think everyone should know.
I am happy to be graduating from SDSU this year and would not change my experience for anything. Although I didn't get into my dream school, I made the most of every moment and opportunity, and SDSU soon became the dream school I've always wanted to attend. I am proud of all of you: for your hard work, your determination and all your effort. You will achieve incredible things no matter where you end up and I can't wait to hear about it.
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