As the year comes to a close and we enter the new year, social media will be covered with different "new year, new me" type resolutions. It seems that for the first week of the year suddenly almost every human being is committing to some sort of resolution. Whether it be deciding to finally start eating salad, committing to the gains, or that you'll finally focus in school, people are often deciding to make a new change for the new year.
So it's somewhat weird when I tell others that I actually don't believe in New Years Resolutions. I promise I am not just trying to be a devils advocate. In fact, for as long as I can remember I don't think I ever had a New Year's Resolution. It's not that I'm not a #goaldigger because I absolutely am, you could probably ask anyone I know and they could confirm that. It's just I don't like the mentality of having to start the beginning of the year needing to change who you are.
Actually before I get into the details, let me establish that I understand why people have a New Year's Resolution. It's a new year, so it's a fresh beginning and a new opportunity to start over. As someone who has had a rollercoaster of a year, I feel that. It's like that random impulse I have to move to another country to really create a new beginning. It sounds nice. I also acknowledge that for some people it is that extra motivation to establish a goal, something they might not have been able to do all year. Plus it is quite nice to try and achieve your goals when you know other people are currently chasing theirs as well. It's like an automatic support system in someways. That's actually wildly awesome.
I get it and I support it, but here are my problems with it. There are two main reasons that stand out to me that are hardly every acknowledged in this large scheme of things of this tradition. For starters, as briefly mentioned, you don't need a new year to go after a new goal. I understand from my perspective this makes sense. I am totally into setting goals and achieving them without question. To me it feels silly to wait for a new year to begin what you really want. I believe that you go after what you want, when you want it. I get that there are limitations to that with where you are in life, and if you have the time and the money to make this goal a reality, but at the end of the day, if you REALLY want something you work toward it ASAP. I think people use new year's resolutions as something to wait for, knowing they want to do something and decide let me just wait until the calendar changes and then I'll get working on it. See for me I don't let the government or the world calendar determine when I will better myself. I get off my ass and do what is necessary to help me grow.
My other main issue with the idea is that people always make it something about themselves that has to "change." I know change is important and sometimes a critical step for being able to prosper, but why should we insist at the beginning of the year we must change ourselves? The fact of the matter is that change will happen naturally, but what won't, is acceptance. How often do we hear people establish that someone wants to change their behavior, change their ability to accept what they might be most insecure about? I don't think I ever have. It seems like resolutions are always rooted in physical fitness and as someone who suffers from years of body dysmorphia, I get it, I really really do, but what I don't get is starting a fresh year pressuring yourself to change yourself. I set fitness goals throughout the year, I reevaluate where I am month to month, day to day, I understand myself and what is going on in my life and why things might not be the way I want them. Body pressure sucks, but then adding that pressure to the start of a new year, that's even worse.
In all honesty, the new year to me is just another day to continue to strive to be my best self. That's an everyday kind of process, not a once a year, not even once a month. I wish for people to be more in tune with themselves and before all, I wish for them to acknowledge a way they can learn to accept themselves. Maybe it's a laugh they have always held back on because they feel it's too "weird," maybe it's that you're the most extra of your friends and you feel the need to hold back in fear that you'll scare them away, or maybe you're just too shy to try something because you're worried you won't be any good at it. You can't change anything without accepting where you are right now. We must accept ourselves at every step of the process, the beginning, the scary middle and the further middle. In someways, I don't think there can ever be an end to our process of discovery and acceptance. The process can't end because the acceptance can't either. We must check in on ourselves continuously and accept the person we were born to be.
I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions, but you can bet I will be cheering on my friends who are so determined to reach their goals. I will constantly believe they can do it and remind them of that. But I will also remind them, you are wonderful and irreplaceable for who you are. You must be accepted for who you are, and loved beyond belief. Also that their goal could start on any dang day, it just takes the first step in the right direction. So don't mind me, but I must go to find more meaningful ways to accept myself. All puns and corny sayings, all passionate and beyond determined energy, all 4'11 and 1/2 of me, each and every part of who I am.
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