With every year comes new residents and it is never a one size fits all with a type of residents. In fact, all residents are different, very different. They come with different personalities, opinions, hobbies and all so much for me to learn. It is important to strive to understand these differences and see the value in who each of these people are. It is like the department mission says, "we embrace diversity" and with that I challenge each RAs to find things they like about each resident.
I admit, this is not always the most easiest task. After all there are many residents who will not seek interest in you, they'll be rather "too cool" for you or maybe just simply prefer a life on their own. Whatever the reason, my point is: it is likely there might be residents that you click with more than others. I noticed this in my transition from my first to second year. I was very lucky to have the chance to live with predominantly Theatre nerds. It was like a dream living with people who would sing show tunes all day with the most beautiful voices. Not only that but I loved to ask about their auditions and what was going on in their theatre driven lives. As a theatre nerd myself, I was living in constant happiness surrounded by these people. Truthfully, they sometimes abused quiet hours, but it was just like they were singing me a lullaby to sleep. (Don't worry, when it got TOO late I put a stop to it for the sake of my community), but I liked to make sure they made the most of their times together.
On the other hand, this year I live with dancers. It's a different vibe. For a while, I was rather sad, wishing I had the presence of my residents from the previous year to surround me, but I realized something beautiful. I had to work harder. I was not handed the easy relationship I got last year, I had to work for this relationship. I had to seek out ways to discover more things about my residents. While I might not be a dancer, it did not mean I could not learn something about it. I have some basic musical theatre knowledge, so I'm not clueless but I found ways to be interested in my residents passions despite them not being the same as my own. I actually was able to gain some great dance knowledge and other things occurring in my residents lives. I am approaching this new semester with a hopeful and determined attitude to properly support my residents as much as possible.
My point of this post is to concern the "favoritism" that often tends to occur with residents. I admit, it's hard when you have those few residents who seem committed to your programs and support everything you do. Those ones you can't help but love. You can count on them and you feel a mutual relationship. I can't not absolutely love and adore those residents, c'mon who wouldn't? But at the same time, I think you need to remember that you can love some residents and love others for completely different reasons. My goal is to get to know my residents at least enough to be able to write a personal note at the end of the year sending them on their merry way. There are so many moments that may seem small or maybe even insignificant, but I take value at them. Like moments at the desk, I am grateful for the residents who are so friendly at the desk and have bonded with me. It certainly makes the slow hours at the desk pass by a lil faster, and most certainly makes it more fun.
I am currently in the process of meeting with all my residents rooms with my wonderful co Alex. I came up with the idea of bring paint swatches to have them answer little questions to make an easy way to catch up. It's been really nice so far, and I've gotten to connect with residents who first semester seemed to never really notice me despite the constant hellos. Most of them are even saying hello to me now and are using my nickname "kp"! it's been very exciting for me. I think my favorite question I listed on the paint swatch was "how can we best support you?" it's been interesting to see the variety of answers we've gotten from residents ranging from hugs, to food, to even just playing games with them. It's helping me and Alex to understand what exactly our residents want from us and how we can specifically support them individually. These small interactions I've had the pleasure to have with them recently have helped to reinforce the idea that every resident can be a favorite. I'm finding individual things I can admire about each of them and I'm hoping they will appreciate these end of the year.
Residents are each different and special in their own ways, much like people are. While sometimes, I know I'm just the "weird enthusiastic RA that tells us to be quiet" I strive to be more. I strive to be their support, their friend, their mom at times I guess and just overall their RA. I want them to see that there's more to being a RA other than just getting them in trouble. Somedays, yeah every resident isn't my favorite, but I want them to never know that. I want them to always know I love them....except for when they say the word "dorm."
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